Baby Guardrails for Grown Adults

I had my last beer on the 4th of July.  Had it before I went and saw Minions.  Was drunk as a skunk when I came home that night, said the wrong thing, then spent two days in emergency room isolation, followed by an four more days spent in hospital sponsored detox. 

So was I THAT much of an alcoholic that I needed that to go to detox?  No.  But when your mom calls in the police worried about suicide and you're too drunk to accurately defuse the situation, that's what you get.  I guess I could have lied and got out of that earlier, but I wasn't going into this "voluntarily".

I set myself up for his by being so drunk and sad when I came home of that fateful Monday night.  Yes, I was down.  Down that yet another job I had wasn't working out and was going to have to tell my employer that I wanted out.  I've had four jobs in a year since I moved here to Tennessee, and they've all been awful.  So I told my brother that I was thinking of leaving and never coming back.  I told my brother that I may end up on the streets and dying there.  Did all that in very sorrow-filled way, as I was drunk.  Remember, alcohol is a depressant.  At the hospital they did take my blood alcohol level, and it was at .69 at 1 a.m.  Last Budweiser I had was about 7:30 just before I went in to see Minions.  

So was Minions?  Good grief, it was awful.  Drunk or sober that's a movie that should have never been made.

After the cops arrived, I complied with them without making a fuss.  Went into the ambulance, answered their questions truthful and remained calm, even though I felt very drunk at the time.

Detox is just a holding area where people dry out.  Not only from alcohol but also from suicide, meth or heroin.  Yeah, it was a wild mix in there.  And the strange thing was not all these people wanted to get well.  Some of them were in there voluntarily so they could have a few days away from drugs, get a few meals in them and have a safe place to sleep.  I met a guy who was in his 60s and looks like Santa Claus without any teeth, who was a total meth-head when he spoke from the heart and from his intentions for the future.  He talked about 6 day benders of doing meth, and always being on the look-out for police.  Worse yet, the guy WANTED to remain doing that, he just need a weekend away where he couldn't use drugs.  Wow, what an eye opener hearing that was to me.  Not everyone wants to be free from substance abuse -- even in detox ward!

I tried to show those people the love of Christ as best I could, but many of the people in detox were in sad shape.  One lady was cutting herself.  My heart broke for her.  She was 29 years old and well on her way to looking 60!  So sad to see people whose lives have been destroyed by hard-core drugs.  Thankfully, I just deal with depression that's made worse when I drink to excess.

Since the 4th, I started out having to deal with a lot of anger directed at my mom who called the cops on me.  Yeah, sure, I scared her.  BUT I should have been allowed to sleep it off and discuss my behavior in the morning.  When the cops arrived to question me, I was in my bed trying to get to sleep it off...  Sigh.  Water under the bridge.  As a grown adult I have to make better decision than I did that night.  Can't binge drink my problems away.  And, yes, I was drinking BEER much more and more frequently than I should.  So, though I don't think I'm a raging alcoholic it was time for me to make a change.

So...  I'm no longer drinking alcohol.  Don't know how long I'll go without, but I definitely need some extended, sober time.  At detox I meet with councilors everyday, I quickly came up with a "plan" to stay sober.  And that's how I got the title for this post for it my guardrails.

 E.C. Henry's new drink of choice !

E.C. Henry is going to implore the "distraction plan" in effort to remain sober and not drink any alcohol.  

1. Working out more in place of drinking alcohol.
2. Attending AA meetings and perhaps Celebrate recovery and other Christian outreaches with the goal of making friends
3. Avoiding Buffalo Wild Wings, which is a place I used to frequent quite regularly, which many times began bouts of binge drinking.
4. To bed at 10 p.m. EST, and not stay up late as many time when I did stay up late I was cracking off Budweisers off a six-pack and inflaming myself further with alcohol.  
5. Putting God first and starting each day by reading a "3 minute devotional" which takes a scripture and has application of it.  I figure this is a good habit to get into.  I'm also ending my days by re-reading that day's devotional.  Prayer.  Getting more active in that.  Need to stay close to the Lord as I live my life.

Pretty simple measures right?  Exercise, socialize more, avoid a trouble spot, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and put God first.

So far, in the past two weeks, implementing this plan has gone fairly easily.  The job that caused me anguish is over.  The temp agency wanted me to go back to it, but I refused.  After nearly two weeks of looking for work, I may have found my best job yet!  So things are looking up.  And, no, so far haven't found it hard to stop drinking my beloved Budweisers, which I still site as my nectar of the gods.  Lately however:

When here I typically get either  two hotdogs  or  corndogs  and the  crinkle fries 

1. The local hamburger joint "Cookout" has replaced Buffalo Wild Wings 
2.  Watermelon shakes  from Cookout has replaced Budweiser as my guilty pleasure drink.

The people at AA have showered me with reading material too.  I have the AA book, which is really boring to read.  And I have a LIVING SOBER book that I'm excited to read.  

Not sure what's next for me, but my membership at the local Kingsport YMCA has a been a godsend.  Having a blast running on the treadmill, working out on their machines, and cooling down afterwards with swims in their swimming pool.  The cost is $58 a month, but it's well worth it.  They even have a workout machine designed to tone your butt.  I love the butt machine -- so lookout Kim Kardashian 'cuz you have some competition for best butt--by E.C. Henry no less!

That's me at the YMCA after a workout, Tuesday, July 19, 2022: still listening to Taylor Swift music, btw :)

Rehab and recovery.  May as well have fun with it.  Time to reprogram my head and learn to have fun being sober.  Time to make some friends, and stop being self-destructive.  This was a gentle, wake-up call.  Thank God it didn't take a DUI or something of that sort.  I didn't have health insurance when I went through this, as I was trying to cut corners given my job through a temp agency.  So I have that to contend with.  BUT I did apply for financial aid at the hospital where I was, which I was directed to do by my councilors at detox. 

Writing wise I'm still struggling to get Thars rolling once again.  Think the key is to just be diligent, and stick with it until "the flow" comes back.   At least now I'm writing TOTALLY SOBER.  Not mixing alcohol with anything, which was something that I was doing on a more and more frequent basis before that July 4th intervention.  Independence Day indeed!  I'm well on my way to maturing and being a more well-rounded and God-centered person.  Praise you, Jesus!