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02/18/2022

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Hank

What's worse?

That you cling to the pathetic delusion that you're an actual screenwriter.

Or...

That I've been the only person to comment on your blog for months.

E.C. Henry

Good morning, Hank! Thanks for dropping buy. Coffee's almost done, wanna cup?

I've written 27 spec. scripts, so I am a screenwriter. I've proven that to myself.

Wish I had more commenters, as I am a very social person. Feel free to invite others.

I'll try to post something new tonight.

Last Wednesday I started a new job, but it's not working out. It's a fabric and costume warehouse that has sh*t all over the place, we have to dig through rolls of fabric to find what the customer ordered, and I'm coming home sore every day. No friends, no girlfriend, can only find sh*t-work jobs, don't even have any prospects romantic prospects as NE Tennessee is full of overweight women. Oh, and I'll be 53 in June!

So chin up, your life is going better than mine, right? Some people find it fun to laugh at other people's misery. You seem like one of those people, so keep coming back so I can entertain you!

Hank

I'm not so much laughing at your misery as I am agog at your ability to persist.

Your not a real screenwriter as your projects have zero likelihood of being produced into actual movies. There are a lot of factors as to why, but we both know the reason is that you're not good at it. How else can you work at something for almost two decades and make no progress?

And date an overweight woman, why don't you? I've seen pictures of you on this blog, you've got no right to be picky. 53 in June and still a KHV? I'd get going if I were you...

E.C. Henry

Wow, now you're taking shots at my looks!!

I'm cool with that. I'm not a vain. I just wanna end up with a hottie in the end. :)

I am a real screenwriter. I don't know how you define that. I may NEVER have credits. I don't control the industry, I just make GREAT art. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I've had to work my whole life.

Still, there is no writer like me. I can writer small character stories, or big epics. See my writing sidebar for details.

Sorry, I'll try to post something new on this site after work tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by Hank!

Hank

“Great” by what metric? You’ve had all the success of someone who’s never tried. Plenty of writers vacillate small stories and big ones. You’re not special, you’re not talented, you’re not smart.

Just quit, you loser.

E.C. Henry

Hank, you're being NEEDLESSLY mean to me. If you don't like me. Don't visit the site or comment.

I make myself available for people. But if you're going to persist in being a poor sport, you won't be here long. :(

Hank

You're right: I am being needlessly mean.

It's not that I don't like you, I don't even know you. All I know is what you have voluntarily shared.

But... You know what I said about your writing is true. Otherwise, why else would it upset you?

E.C. Henry

Good morning, Hank!

You haven't said anything specific about my writing. Nothing you said upsets me. I don't take what you say as truth.

Sorry I didn't get that post written last night. Hopefully I'll get around to it tonight. :) So much happening right now. Hope all is going well in your world.

Hank

Did I not say something specific about your writing? Well, then… Let’s amend that:

-You’re spelling/grammar is consistently terrible.
-Your loglines are alternately uncommercial and deeply derivative.
-“Lit expression” is distracting and unnecessary.
-You use the politics of the religious Right to justify an incurious, prejudiced outlook on the world.
-BONUS: You have no mind for the business of movie making e.g. You basically gave up on Hollywood after no one approached you at a screenwriting seminar. Subsequently, you made no attempts to approach others.

Anyway, you’re an untalented, small-minded coward. Oh, and if you reject any of this with either a reply that denies what I said, or (more likely) deleting this comment, that’s a tacit admission that I’m correct.

How’s that for specificity?

E.C. Henry

Hank, I hope you keep coming back and commenting because you make me laugh.

SOMETIMES I misspell things, who cares? What are a 2nd grade teacher. That's a lower virtue.

As for my grammar is being constantly terrible, you're going to have to give me some examples of that.

My loglines are awesome! Site which ones you have issues with, and why--if you're able.

My Lit Expression is an accent. I'm pioneering a whole new aesthetic of making screenplays funner to read.

I'm not a highly political person. Sure I have SOME view and post about them from time-to-time. Freedom of speech, isn't that what America is all about?

I have great values derived from the bible. You would wise to converse with me as much as possible so that maybe some of the values could become tenants in your own life.

I've never given up on Hollywood. I'm just realistic about the landscape around me. It's always been hard for unknowns to break-in. That's even more accented in word where Covid and bad politics has hamstrung the American economy and the American people.

I don't know how you say I'm a small-minded coward. For when I write I write and without bounds.

With my latest completed script I have honored Jesus, the Holy Father, and the Holy Spirit with my gifts. I can die a happy man whether or not I ever break-in in the movie-making industry. The Beautiful Kingdom is a great script one of my finest and it honored the Lord in Lit Expression. :)

Hank

Okay, I'll do these in order, and try to localize my critiques to your most recent comment, when applicable.

SPELLING/GRAMMAR ISSUES:

-"What are a 2nd grade teacher." should be "What are you a 2nd grade teacher?"

-"Site" s/b "Cite"

-"funner" s/b "more fun"

-"view" s/b "views"

-"bible" s/b "Bible"

-"You would wise to converse with me as much as possible so that maybe some of the values could become tenants in your own life." s/b "You would be wise to converse with me as much as possible so that maybe some of these values could become tenets in your own life."

-"That's even more accented in word where Covid and bad politics has hamstrung the American economy and the American people." s/b " That's even more accented in world where COVID and bad politics have hamstrung the American economy and the American people."

-"For when I write I write and without bounds." s/b "For when I write, I write without bounds."

-"I can die a happy man whether or not I ever break-in in the movie-making industry." s/b "I can die a happy man whether or not I ever break into the movie-making industry."

-BONUS: You misspelled Scriptshadow w/ two "d's" in your Surf City sidebar.

Anyway, you asked who cares about spelling/grammar? Hollywood executives who might one day read your work. They put a premium on writers who know how to write.

LOGLINES: Honestly, they all sound bad to me, but I'll do my best to highlight three particularly egregious ones in ultra-specific ways.

-"The Beautiful Kingdom: Two soldiers from the trenches of World War I go back to antediluvian times when the Greek gods were at the apex of their power to see if the world is better with gods, with a God -- or with no god at all."

A word like "antediluvian" would get this script an automatic "PASS."

Firstly, the way you use it implies that the Great Flood was a historical event, which it is not. I know this takes place in a world of magic and superstition, but, because the Great Flood is ahistorical, it gives your setting a vagueness that does your script no favors.

Secondly, "antediluvian" also means "comically antiquated." Why would someone make a movie that's possibly "comically antiquated?"

Finally, a word like "antediluvian" makes it seem like the script will be overly heady and inaccessible. That may not be the actual case, but that perception puts it on the reject pile regardless.

-"Kathy Smith Conquers Duboose High School: A pretentious, 14-year-old freshmen plots to reset her high school’s social structure by the start of her sophomore year, reunite her parents–and lose her V-card to the outgoing class’s star athlete."

Never mind that this sounds like a particularly bland copy of a copy of much better scripts (i.e. Booksmart, Easy A, Mean Girls, etc.), but, if I'm understanding the premise correctly, it's not only derivative but morally repugnant. So... Kathy Smith is 14 (a minor) and she wants to have sex with a jock from the outgoing class. The outgoing class meaning the graduating class? The majority of people graduating high school are 18 (legal adults). That's a PASS!

-"Indians of the Ancient Plains: While on the search for truth, a valiant Native American brave named Dakota finds the great love of his life. She is from a rival tribe, however. And influenced by evil forces her tribe is bent on enslaving Dakota's people. Further complicating matters are the threats both tribes face from the last of the dinosaurs which roam the Great Plains and Badlands region."

Indians are from South Asia, people native to North America are either referred to as "Native Americans" (something you do in your disaster of a logline), or by their specific tribal nation (e.g. Lakota, Apache, Cherokee, etc.) Also, what "truth" is Dakota searching for? Too vague. And dinosaurs? Why is that relevant, or even necessary? There's already enough drama with your ersatz Romeo & Juliet rip-off. What story are you even trying to tell? PASS!

LIT EXPRESSION: Whatever, keep doing it, I don't care. I'm just sayin' it doesn't look good.

POLITICS: You sum up your politics in this post pretty well: https://insideechenrysbrain.typepad.com/inside_the_brain_of_ec_he/2021/12/ec-henrys-advice-for-american-election-reform-1.html

I'm all for freedom speech, but freedom of speech doesn't mean your free from criticism. You said your piece, I said mine. I think the GOP made the Kool-Aid, and you not only drank it but asked for seconds.

GIVING UP ON HOLLYWOOD: You're not realistic about a career in the movies. I saw you write elsewhere that you believe you need to sell a couple of scripts before an agent will sign you, when in reality, you could never, never, NEVER sell a script without a rep of some kind. I don't WHY you believe that, but it's incorrect.

Though I agree that COVID and the current economy have made it even harder for unknowns to get a foothold, you've been at this for a minute. There have been stronger economic periods in the last 15 years that you could've benefited from.

But we both know that's not the real issue. The real issue, and, the primary thrust of my comment, is that you have no aptitude for writing - For the screen or otherwise. You should give up for your own sanity.

Thoughts?

E.C. Henry

I'm not giving up, Hank.

Out of all you said, the only thing that really resonates is my logline for Indians of the Ancient Plains. I've been meaning to revisit and retool that one. Don't think I did the story justice, as Indians of the Ancient Plains is probably my favorite of all the scripts I've written so far. I'm not changing the name of Indians for you or anyone else, though, as that's what the whole body of Native Americans are referred to. Kids have played cowboys and Indians since the 1800s. I'll call them what I will. There's no reason not to.

I like the word antediluvian. The whole premise of The Beautiful Kingdom is exploring the mystery of the ancient Greek gods. Were they real and based on something or not? I took the position they were based on something that did exist and that God took them out. I believe in the bible therefore do believe the biblical flood did occur. Every time you see a rainbow in the sky you are seeing the covenant God made with the Earth that He would never destroy life on world-wide scale by flooding ever again. The rainbow is a sign of the Lord.

Well, I want to get some writing time on then new spec. script I'm working on. It's called So Go Back & Get Him, and is a romantic comedy. I've already written two stories in this series: So Go Back & Get Her, and Kathy Smith Conquers Duboose High School. So cool to say I write movie FRANCHISES. Will any of my scripts every get produced? Well, that'd be nice! :) But whether or not that ever happens my greater happiness comes from making the world a better place through my writing and the gifts God has given me.

Hank

Alright, do whatever, enjoy your total obscurity.

One last thing… I think it’s interesting that you totally ignored my age of consent critique on Kathy Smith Conquers Duboose High School. That’s troubling to say the least. Might’ve accidentally stumbled onto something criminal in your real life without meaning to…

E.C. Henry

Regarding Kathy Smith Conquers Duboose High School members of the opposite sex have fantasized about having sex with older members of the opposite sex since the dawn of time. What a prudish thing on your part to say, Hank. You're not ready to be a creative in the performing arts.

You'd have to read the script to get the title character. But she is SO FUN to write. Just an overly aggressive Freshmen who thinks she's more mature than she actually is. It's a very fun teen comedy -- and it's part of my franchise: Kathy Smith Conquers Duboose High School, then So Go Back & Get Her, then finally So Go Back and Get Him.

Hank

Whatever you say, EC Polanski...

I guess this means you wouldn't mind an anonymous tip re: your hard drive.

Not that I would ever do that.

Only checking to see that you wouldn't mind.

E.C. Henry

I'm a Christian, Hank, so I don't virtue signal. My righteousness comes from nothing less than Jesus Christ's righteousness. I am bought by the blood of the Lamb. Do you know what that means?

As a writer one of the funnest things you get to do is try to see things from other people's point of view and gives others the perspective in an entertaining way. Kathy Smith age 30 or age 14 is a lot of fun to write. Probably the funnest character I've ever written. She's my version of Taylor Swift. :)

Hank

"I don't virtue signal... but allow me to virtue signal because I clearly don't understand what that means."

Also, you wrote THREE unproduced scripts of Taylor Swift fan fiction? And you still live with your mom?

Let me help you out: https://www.apartmentguide.com/apartments/Tennessee/Kingsport/1-beds-1-baths-1z141xt+1z141xu/

E.C. Henry

I LOVE Taylor Swift. I'm really getting into her music, though I'm no longer pursuing her in any fashion.

You most certainly are a virtue signaler, Hank. Let me clue you in what virtue matter--Jesus! I'm not sure how much time we have left, but NOW is the time to get right with Jesus and make your peace with the Godhead.

Hank

So… no interest in moving into your own big boy apartment, huh?

I like that you said that you’re no longer pursuing T-Swift in any fashion, as if there was a chance of you getting with her. Bro, anyone with a brain could see that your chances were less than zero. Waaaaay less than zero.

P.S. I was quoting you on the virtue signaling bit, hence the quotation marks. All of my comments are making fun of you, you silly goose. From my first comment on your loglines page back in October until today. Let me restate that: EVERY comment you’ve received since October has been me. Provoking you is easy and fun.

E.C. Henry

My family needs me, Hank. No, my heart will probably never be in the state of Tennessee. But I have considerations I have to consider. My mom, my brother and his family. I am lonely as a boy could be. Thankfully I've found the romantic comedy where to live.

I love Taylor Swift. If I could be in her life in ANY capacity I would so be there, but alas the feeling is not mutual so in the end it doesn't go anywhere. #girlschoice

As you have been poking fun, which I'm cool with, btw. I've been honing my own skill. Notably, how to deal with unhinged critics, such as you are. It's easy to deal with fan, different art dealing with a$$holes.

Hank

How would you know what it's like dealing a fan? You've never had one.

Kinda sweet that you think it was even possible to be in Taylor's life. Her camp must've threatened legal action, and this fantasy is your only way of coping.

Alright, the bit has run its course. I promise this'll be my last post.

Any final thoughts before I leave you to your miserable life?

E.C. Henry

People have said lots of nice stuff about my spec. scripts, Homes.

I LOVE Taylor Swift, said E.C. Henry for the MILLIONTH time!

Final thoughts to you, Hank; get right with Jesus, your values fall apart when weighed against the godly.

Chan

E.C.,
I've been reading your blog for months and it's very entertaining and I enjoy your honesty, but whoa, I'm getting some serious troll vibes. Just saw whomever the Hank really is comments and I swear this isn't another account from him but your takes on the industry/life are rough.

this comment from Hank is brutal but accurate...
From my first comment on your loglines page back in October until today. Let me restate that: EVERY comment you’ve received since October has been me. Provoking you is easy and fun.

OUCH!!! That's some borderline Catfish stuff.

... to be fair, that was "Hank's" post... this is my opinion --

That being said, onto your actual scripts and the window dressing that you call "lit expression" I can't help to be reminded of an old expression to refer to them... "you can't polish a turd" To be clear... you can't polish a turd (YOUR SCRIPTS!

you can't make something unpleasant seem more appealing than it really is—attempting to do so is often a futile effort. "Turd" is a slang term for a piece of feces.
Look, man, your term paper was bad before, and all of your edits are just making it worse—you can't polish a turd, you know.
Make sense?

E.C. Henry

Good morning, Chan!

Glad you found my blog. :)

Hope you have a good time here!

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