Sometimes you gotta say, "Fuck it", and go for it. Going into this year's 2017 Pacific Northwest Writers Conference I was resolved to take some chances--IF I thought there was something to be gained by doing so. Today, Sunday July 23 was the last day of the 2017 PNWA Writers Conference, and in short-term retrospect I did take some chances. BUT I also exercised some RESTRAINT in my decision making whether or not to hit the "fuck-it button".
Let's start out by defining what the fuck-it button is:
The fuck-it button is a yes to an action that could be perceived as outlandish by a normal person.
Okay, smartass (referring to myself here) give some examples of what YOU did when you faced a, should-I-hit-the-fuckit-button moment. Here goes:
- Daring to wear my "expanded persona" gear: jester cap, mask, black gloves, and Mardi-gras cape to a pitch session, AND do my 4-minute while dressed that way.
- Exclaim the phrase, "It's super colossal" at the beginning of my pitch for the epic fantasy novel, "The Chosen Redeemer of Thars".
- Blowing a horn before I started my spiel.
- Playing upbeat music in public when writers were milling around waiting to go in for a dinner.
- Dancing to that music and getting others to dance as well while waiting for an event to open.
- Jumping out of a pitch line for someone I wanted to see so someone was unattended would have a writer to talk too.
- Playing back my script in Final Draft using the audio playback feature in a trolling effort to get an agent who was sitting in the next table over.
- Leaving a conference session to go back into the tabled area to talk to an agent that I pitch to the day before who I saw sitting in the lobby with one other person.
So was I successful in any of these bananas, hit-the-fuckit-button situations? No. A lot of my gimicks had negative results. I was reprimanded twice for blowing a horn at the pitch session. My reaction: nodded begrudgingly agreeing not to do it again, then when confronted by the organization's head, admitted guilt and humbly said I wouldn't do it again. Of the THREE times I ventured to say, "super colossal", two times I just said, "It's amazing!" This was a TOTAL product of nerves. I got the phrase super colossal from an old "Peanuts" cartoon Christmas special. In practice at home in the mirror every time I said, I said it with a circus pitchman's fervor. I had a hard time saying it with a straight face. Thought it was funny. Hoped that would transfer. Don't think it did.
Never did the dance thing. Did play the music but the mood in the room wasn't right. Everyone was drinking booze, but I didn't get that gathering of interested people around me. Mostly I sat aloof and alone. ALL I needed was that ONE person nutty enough to give me a positive vibe. BUT I NEVER got it. Rather, I just sat there watching them all as my up-beat, pop music played. Sure a COUPLE people came over and we conversed, but it was never enough to kick me into gear. YES, I had hit the fuck-it button twice to this point. Once to dare to wear my expanded persona outfit IN FRONT OF THEM ALL! And again to up the ante and play music. But alas, the fuck-it button was not hit a third time, which would have had this fool dancing!
Hitting the fuck-it button at the last session DID get me a talk to with agent in the lobby. He, however, looked pissed as hell at me!! We talked for a while and then he left to go back to his room. And no I didn't hit the fuck-it button again and go follow him. There are some things I just can't bring myself to do, and that's one them.
Hitting the fuck-it button and pitching to an agent unattended yielded the best response. I think this lady handled non-fiction. So, I said to myself, "fuck it", she a pretty girl, let's just talk rom-coms. So that's what we did for four minutes. I talked to her about "Give It Up for Chimpy", and I got her to smile and laugh. Total win. Best outcome of the fuck-it switch that I've had to date.
The fuck-it button in the bar didn't get me what I was looking for. I wanted the agent to ask me about it. He never did. Since he was talking with someone else, I waited the longest time I could, but I held back on hitting the fuck-it switch again and asking if I could join their party. Hey, I respect other people's privacy. I put myself out there, just wasn't sure if it was in my best interest to piss-off a guy who I already had a commitment from an agent under him to send in some of my writing for his consideration.
The fuck-it button is not for shy and timid. It is for those willing to take CALCULATED risks. I NEVER hit the fuck-it button with the express intent of pissing off one of my fellow writers, or embarrassing the PNWA organization. I figured we are there for the same reason; to meet that KEY CONTACT that unlocks the publishing world. Just as there are gatekeepers in Hollywood. There are gatekeepers in book business too. I did what I did to stand out. Don't know how that was received by most, but fuck it! I gotta be me.
First, make an impression, THEN worry about making that impression a favorable one.
THAT is an E.C. Henry quote, in the vein of, "Go big or go home!" This year I went as calculated BIG as I could. And I varied it up too. Wore different promo shirts, went regular guy to the 2nd pitch block I attended. Dude, I was all over the place. All with simple goal of making that ONE CONTACT that launches a career.
ONE thing that I did right this year was the SAME night I got my okays to send material--I did! No fucking around there. They got what they pre-agreed too. I followed THEIR rules. Now it's on them how they proceed. No fuck-it button on that stuff. Too important. That said I'm not waiting for the phone to ring. FUCK IT, I'm moving on, the bus is moving. The bus stopped for a moment so the farmer could throw out some seed, but I'm not gunna just sit around, and wait for something that may never come. JUST because you act doesn't mean the other party will. They too have a "fuck-it" button. I just hope they don't use it on me BEFORE they read what I sent them. Hey, you give me an honest shot and it's just not for you. Smile, I can live with that. What I have a hard time living with is never getting my shot.
Action plan moving forward (assuming none of these or other lead pan out into something):
- Get back to doing work around the house that I've been neglecting for the past month and a half as I polished the script adaptation for "The Chosen Redeemer of Thars": wood to split, ground to level out, garage to clean up, tool cabinets to organized
- Start drawing pictures for the start of each chapter, then scan these perlmiaries into my scanner, and input them in the two completed books in the series.
- Re-read the 2nd book start to finish and get things up to a professional level, as least a high up as I can make it.
- Go on Facebook and Twitter and follows some new people, and and see if can get some of the people I met as friends.
- Get an eye exam, and get new glasses. Time to do this for work, as one my work requirements is coming up. Also, right now I actually see better to read with my glass off.
- Read the three books I bought at the conference: Robert Dugoni's "My Sister's Grave", "The Writer's Journey" by Christopher Vogler, and Donald Maass' "The Emotional Craft of Fiction". Earlier today at the conference and later in the bar I read most of Donald Maass' "The Emotional Craft of Fiction" and found it was really, really good. Way better than his writing the break-out novel which I had read some 10+ years ago.
Always moving forward folks. Never backwards. I have NO IDEA if I'll ever get the break I need. Some things in life you control. Whereas other things in life ARE dependent on action taken by someone other than yourself. The writing can never be left to suffer. If you don't create great art to begin with, why worry about the rest anyway. The biggest takeaway I got from this conference was that I found three literary agents and one script agent that I sent material to were people that I think I could work for. From what I saw, they are all nice people. Didn't feel the same, last year. This year's conference was better in the overall vibe that I had for people who could potentially change my life forever.
Fuck it! Onward and upward!
E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA