My mother says it. ALL. THE. TIME. And without hesitation. My 7-year-old nephew says it to me all the time, and I NEVER feel like I deserve it. Three simple words. Yet with them such power to warm the soul.
I Love You.
Now in the rom-com world, what I hold to be true is that the prevailing, common belief is that for a member of a given coupling that's being explored this declaration must be earned, a.k.a. a character has to go through a metamophasis of sorts before they're ready to say those three, key words. It's like every, "I love you," has to be earned. And why is that? Well, it's because rom-coms are manipulated stories designed to drive an audience to a given climatic moment Like Hugh Grant's rambling confession of love to Andie McDowell in Richard Curtis' "Four Weddings and a Funeral" (1994), or Billy Crystal's confession of love to Meg Ryan in Nora Ephron and Rob Reinner's "When Harry Met Sally" (1989). Both of these windy confessions came at the end of the movie.
It's like once you've finnished working through your issues, then it's okay to tell that someone special that you love them.
I think we live in a society of "love supression" of which I'm actually guilty of being complicit to. But should I?
Fuck no! I'm a pretty smart person. Who is able to think independently, see the options available to me, and choose the the best one. Sure, I'm a bit of a fucktard, but even with that held against me I can still choose wisely. As such, I should be more like my mother and my nephew who freely say, "I love you" to other people.
But do they understand the magnitude of what they're saying? Who cares! Stop being love's wet blanket. Isnt' there enough bad stuff in the world today? Couldn't we all use a little of love's brightening yellow magic that revives and makes the sould feel like it's flying around. Sure, I'm talking about romantic love too. I've actually felt that cool feeling of vertually flying arround when I thought I was in love a long time ago, but then again that was a long time ago, and memories fade and darkness can replace the light where love once lit up the room.
Can love light up the room? You betchya! And that's why I'm an advocate of lettin' 'er rip and telling other people that you love them. Doesn't matter if they love you back or not. Send out those magical, positive vibes and make the world a brighter place by the love you're sending out. Cynacism and sarcasm are like the battery acids that errode and distort the radaince that love leaves so watch it when those words are in your mouth.
Point: it's better to be naive and have genuine love in your heart then to be world-weary and cynical.
I guess the geneis of this post came from a 4th viewing of the Schumer/Apatow masterpiece rom-com they made in "Trainwreck" (2015), where at the end of the movie, Amy Schumer's character joins the NY Knicks cheerleaders, and puts a lavish dance skit to impress and win back her estranged boyfriend, Aarron. At the end of her performance Amy confesses her love to Aarron by saying, "I love you." Then moments later the movie ends. Perfect. Good job, Schumer/Apatow. Nailed it. THAT'S how you end a romantic comedy well. Never say a pro in the industry can't grow in his craft and deliver in the clutch. 'Cuz that's what Judd Apatow did here. Sure, I was disappointed in the last scene of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" with the ensamble sing-and-dance to "Age of Aquarious", but here in "Trainwreck", Judd proves beyond a shaddow of a doubt that he is capaple of delivering a memorable and moving ending to a romantic comedy.
Earlier in the movie their is scene where Amy's character opens up to her sister, and ends up getting hugged by that sister and her husband and step son. Arms up, Amy "exits" that hug because she's uncomfortable, uncomfortable with group expressions of genuine love and good will.
That kind of shit bothers me. Makes me wonder how much of that stinking thinking resides in me. That being pushing away from others who seek to love me.
Weird how a rom-com can make you think about issues like that. But that's what a GOOD rom-com will do, it gets you to think. Now the EASY thing to focus on after watching "Trainweck" is the affect a divorce and a promiscious parent can have on a child, OR the self-destructive habits of sexually loose woman. But after watching "Trainwreck" a fourth time, my mind drifted over to another, more suble issue that is raised in this movie, that being how some of us out there can actually push away from the people who are trying to love us. And that's just wrong!
So why do some people behave that way? Well, I think it's because for a lot of people saying I love you is seen as a sign of weakenss. Some people see themselves as bastions of strength that don't need other people.
But saying, "I love you," IS a necessary thing. And it's something we shouldn't be stingy about either. Acting on this newfound boldness, and not-giving-a-fuck-anymoreness here's a brief list of people I would like to say, "I love you" to:
- I love you, Billy Mernit: for giving me good, intellecual fodder to muse over, which is stark contrast to the mindless dipshits I am forced to deal with on a daily basis.
- I love you, Amy Schumer: for being awesome, crafting a kick-ass 1/2 hour comedy show, and making a memoroable rom-com that got me to think about issues I love thinking about.
- I love you, Judd Apatow: for growing in your directoral and movie-making prowess. Keep being awesome and making movies with your friends and breaking-in new talent.
- I love you, Brycen. My 7-year-old nephew who is learning to cope with his own emotions, allthewhile teaching world-weary assholes like me how to unabashedly say, "I love you" to other people.
- I love you, Danny O'Neil of 710, KIRO a.m., for growing into an awesome, sports talk radio host. This guy was a news paper reporter for YEARS, then transitioned to radio, where he brings a fresh and unique dynamic. Thus proving some writer are actually capable of carrying on a conversation.
- I love you, Jim Moore of 710, KIRO a.m., for being the WSU slacker turned curmudgeon, who doens't take himself too seriously and knows how to have fun, and playoff being the butt of the joke. A rare skill in today's society.
- I love you, aunt Denny. Proably the holiest person I have ever met--and she lives in the room right next to mine! At one point in her life she applied to be a nun in convent. They rejected her, but the Lord has since used her for a far greater ministry and impact in the world around, whether she sees that or not. I guarantee you this, you haven't met anyone like my 66-year-old aunt. She's a trip. Unique. A once-in-a-lifetime person, and I love her!
- I love you, my mom, Donna. Hard on my nephews? You bet! This gramma doesn't take shit from her grandsons. But she knows how to love me very well, and I'm not an easy person to like. Show what's my mom like? Ever seen someone with their arms open ready to give you a hug before? Well, THAT'S what my mom's like. Ready to love at the drop of a hat. Totally sold-out believer in Jesus Christ--so if you ever met her, you better be ready for that!!
- I love you, my dad, Eric Sr. Despite all the golf bullshit he forces me to listen to on a day-in, day-out basis. There is no one quitle like my 70-year-old father. In his retirement years, the smiles keep coming. He's happy and content now. Thank you Jesus he got healed from cancer about 10 years ago and was able to enjoy his retirement. He deserved it. I'm so glad he got out of his job and was able to enjoy some of the fruits of his labor. Ever wanna hear about golf, OR have a golfing buddy to go out with, my dad's the man for that.
- I love you, Jimmy Fallon, for having the gift of gab and helping to make Hollywood's stars shine all the more brighter.
Well, I guess I'll end this post here. On a high note. All lovey/dovey.
- An E.C. Henry that's TRYING to be more loving in a world that's not as condusive to the transformational power of love as it should be