What is the perfect woman? What does the perfect heroine in a romantic comedy look like to you?
In all the romantic comedy movies you've ever seen, who is the ideal? That one girl, that you would say, "Yeah, now that's the kind of girl I LIKE seeing in the movies -- for whatever "ideal woman" you envision.
You see in a rom-com, I think the woman is the centerpiece. She is the mastefull piece of art wonder that spins the wheels of the mind. NOT the man.
I believe rom-com's are at their core "women's movies." Their is a reason they are sometime given the moniker, chick flicks.
So of everthing's that's ever been done, who did the best? Who is the one girl, in one role, that really rocked your world. If you've spent ANY time on my blog, by now you'd think that one, perfect woman would be Meg Ryan. And though I do LOVE Meg Ryan -- and really do enjoy watching her in ANY movie she's ever been in -- I can't give this award given one single, outstanding performance. Sorry, Meg, but you're not my all-time favorite heroine in one given romantic comedy movie.
So who is? Who is E.C. Henry's all-time favorite actress in a rom-com movie?
You'll never guess.
It's Jenna Elfman who played "Shari" in EDtv (1999).
Now, to date I've only seen "EDtv" ONCE. And I don't even remember all the details of the movie. BUT Jenna Elfman's "Shari" left an indelible imprint on my mind -- that's the kind of girl I want! Shari was sweet. Shari was feminine. Shari was affectionate. And Shari a UPS driver -- which makes it easy for this shipper of many YEARS to like. But in all seriousness, there was something in the character that resonated with me that's never quite left me; I want a girl like Shari! And that's the ultimate girl in the movies I wanna see. That's the kind of girl in a romantic comedy I will root for.
Now I've seen Jenna Elfman play several different roles: Dharma & Greg (1997 - 2002 TV series on ABC), and most recently on CBS's Accidentily on Purpose (2009 - 2010), but none of that struck half the chord that Jenna did as Shari in "EDtv."
Strange how there's all these GREAT rom-com's out there: "13 Going on 30" (2004: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo), "How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days" (2003: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey); and yet it's Jenna Elfman's "Shari" which wins the prize as the best heroine in a romantic comedy. Just goes to show that ANY movie can have a special element that resonates with you, something that says, "Yes, now that's the idea. That's what I like the most."
So what is it that goes into the "ideal woman" that makes it work for guys like me?
First off, the girl has to have long hair. Blond or brunette, makes no difference. Girls, wanna get ugly real quick? Just cut your hair short. Point: guys don't like short hair. Long hair is sexy. You can be butt-fuck ugly, BUT if you have nice, long, well-groomed hair it goes a long ways to helping guys forget that in all actuality you're butt-fuck ugly.
Secondly, act feminine. Be flirty. Laugh, giggle. Make yourself fun to be around. You can be a total hottie, and yet totally fuck that all up by being prissy, bitchy, and snobby. You tend to see those traits in rich girls. Sure takes away from their appeal.
I mean look at Jenna here. You tellin me you WOULD'NT want to go out on a date with a girl who looked like that?! If the answer's no, you might wanna go to the bathroom now and check if you pee standing up, or sitting down.
Third sure fire way for women to be more attractive to the opposite sex is to have a hard body. Work-out, girls. Hit the gym. Have some curves. A tone body can go a long way to masking your flaws if you're butt-fuck ugly.
Forth and final tip for girls to be more attractive to the opposite sex is to be touchy-feely. Hold your guy's hand. Put your arm around him. Don't be stand-offish. Being stand-offish -- even if you're runway-model beautiful -- is the kiss of death. It doesn't elevate your status higher. Rather it brings you down into the realm of the stuck-up bitch.
Okay, Jackass (rhetorical question being asked here) have you ever tried to build the ultimate, perfect woman and put her in one of your own romantic comedies that you've penned? YES, and her name is Stacy Dutchmen. Stacy Dutchmen IS my ideal girl, and you can find her in the first spec. I ever penned which is entitled, "Give It Up for Chimpy." I built Stacy Dutchmen to be the ideal girl that ANY guy would go, goo-goo ga-ga, falling head-over-heals in love with.
Bonus question. So who would I like to see play "Stacy Dutchmen" if "Give It Up for Chimpy" ever got green-lit. Easy. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Why Jennifer? I dunno. It's not like it HAS TO BE HER, or it can be no one else. It's just her's seamed to fit the bill when I was thinking of who could play "Stacy Dutchmen." And Jennifer is no slouch in the looks department either. Case and point:
Don't know if I'll ever get the priveldge of meeting Jennifer Love Hewitt. But gosh if I ever did would I ever like to get her reaction to a couple rom-com specs I've penned. As I've got roles suitable for her in "Cupid's Helpers" and "An American Princess" which is besides the role of Stacy Dutchmen in "Give It Up for Chimpy" and "Love, Music, and Monkeys: Give It Up for Chimpy II" (Yeah, I've already penned the sequel).
But alas, the poor, miss-guided aforementioned Jennifer is hitching her wagons to another doomed-to-fail TV series. As if waisting what should have been the prime of her career with "Ghost Whisperer: CBS 2005 - 2010) wasn't enough, now she's cracking up a new lemon TV series this time in Lifetime's "The Client List". Snore. I mean is ANYBODY actually looking forward to seeing "The Client List" as a TV series? Even if I had cable, I wouldn't watch it.
So we've reached the end of another post. And what have we learned? E.C. Henry picks odd-ball winners? Ah, I don't think so. Watch "EDtv" and key in on Jenna Elfman's "Shari" and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I know I was.
The "perfect girl" can be hard to find, but in the movies she can be built. There are distinctive traits that can be grafted into her character. Traits which warm the heart. Give hope to the hopeless. And that's what romantic comedy movies do.
- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA
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